So here I am, nine months post surgery.
To say that things are “normal” wouldn’t be correct at all, I am still dealing with constant pain, my hip is still dislocated, my back makes weird sounds and I am getting fat from  lack of exercise. I often get to feeling like I am no longer useful or able to do much of anything. I have to physically remind myself of all the great things I can still do.

This past week my wife and child went to Florida for a business conference and some time with my in laws who live near Orlando; this was supposed to be when our bathroom floor would be done but due to several factors well beyond my control they were unable to provide service. I enlisted the aid of a few friends who came over to help put our bathroom back together and we now have a functional bathroom space again, if not what we were hoping for,

I did manage to clean the bathroom yesterday which was helpful and the dogs didn’t die all week so there is that.

as I write this it is currently 10:30 am, 9 months ago right now I went into surgery, I will wake up on July 3rd angry and violent, and will spend the next few days in pain, at one point I will tell the wooden creatures I was talking to that I was so miserable and I was ready to give up and just be at peace, I am a little ashamed of my drug induced hallucinating me for giving up like that, standing orders for all parts of this organism is that we will never give up. I will give myself some slack because I was also talking to forest spirits who came out out of the walls to judge me. I also talked to dead people and couldn’t tell day from night while I was there.

arguably this experience was a crucible for me, I am not as affectionate as I was prior, I no longer feel much of anything in regards to my fellow man,  I find I am constantly comparing myself to those who are fully able bodied, I am hopeful that this will change now that spring is here and I can go out and get some sun and feel the rain on me again.

Sp here I am, broken, but not beaten