I have been reading my chart from my time in the hospital, its a bit fascinating and a bit embarrassing. I know I am fairly big, but it doesn’t really hit home as much until you read it a dozen times in your chart, I am fat and that weight caused my surgery to have all the issues it did. I managed to get down to 248 this past fall, I am back up to 287 as of last weeks appointment, I am not proud of this, I know I can drop the weight, and the time has come to stop making excuses, I am stuck with the situation I am in, this does not mean I cant work toward becoming healthier. I have to, I cant live like this anymore, I cant live with a dislocated hip and feeling like shit all the time. So I guess its a lot of green food and doing what I can o avoid carbs and all the things I like. I have to, there is no longer an option for me not to or to simply put it off.

June 28th and 29th were fairly uneventful according to my chart, I was vented, sedated, and had a bunch of tubes and wires coming out of me, I am going to work on avoiding reading my chart for a while I think, unless I can find my daily notes which I think will be well worth the read, if only to hopefully find where I tried to discharge myself while high, and just how miserable I was.

not a long post tonight, but its time for bed.