Well as the title says it went to hell.
Pelvis is broken into three pieces, my hip is dislocated, I’m probabaly bleeding, and I have some screws loose. Saw the doctor today, I hate him. My appointment was slated for 1130 this morning, he finally came into my room at 130, he wasn’t at all prepared for me, nor was he all that apologetic for wasting my day, he had also eaten lunch.
He showed my X-rays from today and we discussed what was going on. He was beating around the bush far to much for me, so I finally said “we need to do a revision of my pelvic graft” that bothered him, I had taken away his power. He nearly died right there when he suggested they take my leg off if the pain or life was unbearable. seriously I looked at his head, and knew that my options were knife hand to his trach, ridge hand to the mandible joint going to the temple, the ever popular rear naked choke into a step back to cause a hangman’s fracture, or pull a knife and go to work. Fuck me I hate feeling violent toward a person but who the hell suggests that.
Despite my murderous desires, he will live because he is the guy most suited to fixing me, I can forgive a whole lot for that. The plan we worked out is fairly straight forward; starting as soon as its signed off on I am going off all antibiotics to ascertain if I have an infection or not. Next Monday I have an in depth CT scan to look get really good scans of my pelvis. These then go off to some magic place to be created into my new titanium pelvis. My job is put up with it for 6 months and lose weight, I would like to be down to 190-200 pounds by then, its only 82 pounds, I lost that in 2 weeks this past summer.
Its gonna get bad, like real bad, as in I will literally be falling apart, but I will not lose this fight, I said it last summer, I will say it now, no white flags, no ringing the bell, never surrender. years from now I hope that my friends and family can say that this was my finest hour.
Obviously I have a lot to process, I am sore and tried, and really don’t want to do anything other than sit and dwell.