Lately I am finding it harder and harder to do things, its becoming harder to get out of bed, its becoming harder to walk, and I am having a harder time to doing any of the life tasks I was able to do a few weeks ago. I am also having a strange drumming in my ears, I attribute this to allergies and am not overly concerned about it.
This new instance of difficulties has me seriously re-evaluating whether I am doing the right thing for my health by making the long walk to the office each day and the long walk back, i find I have to rest more often now days. I am reaching out to my doctors about these issues but I am becoming more and more aware that my time in EMS is rapidly coming to that done stage and perhaps re-exploring the idea of retirement and taking an early pension may be in order. I am also not entirely sure if my issues are physical or emotional, its been a rough few months for me and perhaps I am simply reacting to a lot of negative energy around me. What i do know is that whatever this is I can’t continue it.
Which leaves me with the great what if questions. What if I take retirement? What if I take a UX job, there are several out there. What if I stick it out? What will happen to my family if I have to follow any of these pathways.

Cancer sucks, and I want a redo on last summer.