I find myself in the same situation virtually everyday with people.

The situation often goes like this:
Me: Hey “John” how’s your back doing?
John: It hurts and all I want to do is sit here and not move.
Me: Man that sucks, been there myself, is there anything I can get you?
John: No man, my problem is nothing like what you are going through, I’ll be fine
Me: But I’m having a really good day, and look I can even walk short distances without my crutches
John: Wow, that must hurt a lot and I feel guilty for even mentioning what’s going on with me

I really hate when people do this, and everyone does this to one degree or another, they minimize their own ailments by comparing them to my own. When I try to give them back some of the love and compassion they gave me when I was struggling they wont accept it, they always say “oh but this is nothing compared to your issues”. The truth of it is, its exactly the same as my issues, literally they are exactly the same, only the details are different. What I went through effected every aspect of my life, I can no longer do all the things I used to love to do and I am trying to regain my life, just like they are. When I say “I have been there myself” I am not trying to compare my problems with theirs, I am simply saying “I know what its like to not be able to do the things you used to do and I want to help you through this moment, like you helped me”.

I have so many friends going through some really shitty life events right now, from divorces and deaths to the possibility of cancer, they are hurting and they feel very alone and all I want to do is scoop them up and say “I am here for you my brother/sister, I can’t fight your demons for you but I promise you wont fight them alone” Because that’s one of the things I love to do, help people, make them see just a little bit of the light at the end of the tunnel, just like they did when I was at my darkest. To use my current analogy, its like being on a see saw, sometimes you help me up sometimes I help you up that’s the way this should work.

I am not very good when it comes to writing about things like this, because I lack the flowery speech of others, but I want you all to know, if I am offering to give you my spoons for the day, its simply because today I have extra and I want you to have a few more to get through the difficulties ahead, again because I know that by me returning the care you gave me I am really caring for myself.