Its a terrible thing to say, its worse to actually mean it.

Today I laughed, a lot, I told jokes, was teased, and schemed, and it was OK.  Today my peers once again re-enforced in me that I am where I need to be.

My wife asked me tonight if everything was better, and I didn’t give her an answer because words failed me.  The answer to that is both simple and as complex as anything in the world.

So I will answer her here, she will read this and understand, that I am OK, in fact for the first time in a while I am more than ok, I am me.

The last five years have been full of great adventures, and some terrifying events.  I became a User Experience architect for several companies, I learned some things, I worked in a simulation lab, and learned skills that will help me in my old now new career. I wont forget those things, and I will continue to grow in my Web design knowledge, and I will continue to master my skills in graphic design. Just now I will do it while watching the sun rise and set over the city, while listening to a radio as the pulse of lives impacted in meaningful ways.

So is everything better now? sure, i am fixing the stuff that was wrong with me, throwing off the shroud that had been on my shoulders for so long because of depression, lack of chance for advancement, lack of knowledge, and an over abundance of fear.  I can now plan on a good retirement for my wife and myself, a pension plan that will help us in retirement, the support of people that when and if my worst day happens, they will make sure that i never forget who I am, and most likely will tell me I am lazy and good for nothing, and really not worth their time.. while making sure my lawn is mowed, my kid is watched over, and that if my ghosts come calling they are there to tell them to go back to the abyss where they came from, because the promise is thus.

“Should the day come when the weight of the world seems to be crushing you, you need only look up, we are legion, our shoulders are broad, and you never stand alone”