twenty Three years ago give or take a few months I was much different than i am today, pelvic and hip issues aside. Back then I was pretty arrogant and like many brand new paramedics I knew my shit didn’t stink. It was around this time I became a civilian contractor for a certain alphabet soup government organization that does a lot of investigations, and I met one of the scariest but also gentlest men I have ever known. His name was James, he was 6 foot 2, weighed a hefty 250 pounds of obsidian muscle, spoke in a quiet tone that could be heard across a room and believed that the best things in life were not material but ethereal, that one should never be miserly with their compassion and love for the people around them. James took a punk twenty year old kid and planted the seeds of what would eventually grow into the person I am today.

Prior to his civilian career as a Paramedic he served in the United States Navy Special Warfare group, we call them S.E.A.L.S. that experience gave him some very solid and useful knowledge in how to be a better person.
I can not remember all of the lessons he would teach me over the course of two and a half years as his partner and occasional house sitter. Here are some that I do recall, I added a bit here and there.

1. Be productive. Plan something, whether it is a project, a hobby or the best workday ever. Engrave that thought into your very being. Look forward to tomorrow.

2. Crank up the music, even if you are at your lowest point. Bone-crushing, paint-peeling, flesh-shredding music, it excites the brain and releases dopamine.

3. Accept the fact that life is going to hand you lemons. Make lemonade. There is no yellow brick road, no easy path. Hard work sucks, and not everyone is cut out for it.

4. Sit up straight. Maintain Condition Yellow. Stay out of the white. Stay switched on instead of switched off. Get out of that 45-degree syndrome.

5. “You can do anything you want in life.” Bullshit! No, you can’t. But you damn sure can be the best you everyday.

6. Surround yourself with those who create the best you. Douchebags and dummies will only set you further into your rut.

7. Take the stairs instead of the escalator. Take your own path and stay away from the crowd.

8. Workout several times a week, because a strong body equals a strong mind. Play a highlight reel of you attacking a workout the morning or day before it happens, be active and be prepared.

9. Never be late, light or out of uniform. If I am not early, I am late. If I am late, please come look for me because I am probably face down in a ditch somewhere. Late people suck.

10. Don’t wallow in self-pity. It is not attractive and is toxic to those around you, I have been doing this a lot lately and its a never ending spiral.

11. There are 7.5 billion people milling about on our planet. Visit a shithole either abroad or right here in the greatest country on earth and see how bad you’ve really got it, then be thankful for the life you have and help lift those around you.

12. Keep in mind that success is the best revenge on those who may have cast you into this rut. This does not come easy, nor does it come overnight.

13. Do not deny the negative. You will only perpetuate problems rather than solve them, embrace it, use it to fuel your move forward.

14. Be self-aware and take responsibility. Some of the reason why we fall into ruts lies on us. Recognize that sometimes you put yourself in a bad situation and you are the only one who can get you out.

15. Recognize your faults and weaknesses. Say to yourself, “You can probably do better.” Then make a plan and follow through inches equal miles don’t ignore the small gains because they aren’t bigger.

16. Do what’s right. Innately, we human beings know right from wrong. We should be good to others and do what’s right instead of doing something to appease someone or some higher power.

17. Don’t plan to fail by failing to plan. Be prepared for whatever. We need to be prepared to save our own lives, someone else’s, or to kick someone’s ass.

18. There is no cure for being a dick, and there are plenty of them out there. Check your anger before you do something stupid, but never be victimized by some dumbass.

19. Limits begin where vision ends. We cannot outperform our self-image. Positive mental attitude goes a long way towards making you a better all around person.

20. Do not to rest on your laurels. What’s done is done. Yesterday doesn’t mean shit unless you can perform tomorrow.

21. Choose what you care about. Some shit does not require you to exert effort over or to dwell on.

22. Try not to look like shit. Get to grooming. Trim those nose hairs, take a shower and dress for success.

23. Try to find the positives that outweigh the negatives. Look forward to every tomorrow and remember what is good about the past. We should not data dump the negatives from yesterday, but learn from them. Fail quickly. When shit doesn’t go our way, we need to learn from the past, prepare for the future and perform in the present.

24. Be a lighthouse. Help those who are lost, sometimes this world becomes to heavy for one person’s shoulders, be there to help lift the weight, also recognize that there is no sin in calling for help, even big tough Navy SEALS call in for help when things get bad.

25.  You aren’t the only one on the planet. The sun does not rise and set on your ass.

My friend James left this world for the next ten years ago after suffering a heart attack and crashing his motorcycle, I hope he knows that lessons he taught me so long ago I still follow to this day.