I am going to admit something, I am not doing well. I tried to start a bussiness this past spring, I put on a ton on credit cards with the idea that I would be able to pay it off after some classes, but the state shut down killed my CPR and First Aide bussiness. We have seen an almost 300% increase in firearms and ammunition sales along with a certain edge of panic amongst our customers. We have had multiple riots across the US for officer involved shootings and entire cities being shut down by protesters. Because of the pandemic I have been on straight 12 hour shifts 3 and 5 days a week at the full time job as well as working all of my off days at the part time job which is usually my oportunitty to re-connect with humans. Unfortunately people are on edge and are grabbing any firearm they can get their hands on, the vast majority of our sales are to brand new gun buyers who are grossely unprepared for the process of buying a firearm, we are also severely short on ammo. All of these factors create a great deal of stress, and the customers frequently take their frustrations at short supply of firearms and ammunition out on us, as if we were secretly hiding ammo from them.

I am tired all the time, I mentally want to do things, but I am physically exhausted. I am also dealing with a lot of physical issues right now between my left leg and my back I am in constant pain, which my doctor always says “you need to lose weight, be more active” well when it feels like I have an ice pick in my leg its hard to be active. I have lost all interest in just about every activity from shooting to video games.

I am unsure what the next few months hold for me, I know that I am going to keep moving forward but Im not entirely sure what will happen,

More later i guess.